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6/12/17

A Passive Solar Prefab Readies For Back And Forth

At the off grid prefab house, we ready for the season of Back And Forth (and Forth And Back): we are busy picking peaches, blueberries, watching after a new baby chick, packing, splitting wood, and feverish with activity and organization as we prepare to go back and forth to the bay!
First blueberry of the season!


A post shared by Green Modern Kits (@offgridprefab) on
At least it's quiet in the country...
Dark. The moon has risen, we are all settled in at the modern off grid prefab house.

I'm halfway through a Netflix episode when I hear a "...thump... thump thump... thump...thump thump thump!" from the coop. I yell for Pip 1 and a dog, go outside, Pip 1 heads into the run, lifts the coop roof and: a HUGE A$* BLACK RACER is thrashing around, mouth open, with two momma hens on top of him pecking and the little baby chick almost in his mouth!

In unison, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" and Pip 1 lifts it out, I'm running for a paper bag, no box, no DAG IT WHAT CAN I PUT HIM IN while the snake is writhing angrily in Pip 1's uplifted hands as he runs, he starts to drop it, the dogs swoop in, Pip 2 grabs it as I yell to the dogs to "LEAVE IT!" as Pip 2 now has a seriously furious snake and I'm running in the house trying to find bags and car keys and we all load ourselves, snake twisting and striking, into the car like clowns and drive off to the edge of a pasture to be freed.

A quiet moment as we now all sink into the car seats, fasten the seat buckles, and slowly pull away, back down the drive, relaxing and glad the ruckus is over.

As we park, the dogs bound up to the car, escort us to the house, when suddenly their attention turns... and off they go. I enter the house, toss my car keys down, and wearily sink into my seat to resume my show when... a scent wafts in through all the open windows.
"SKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNK!!!!!"

And I frantically start calling the dogs back in as Pip 2 and 1 run through the house whirring the windows closed. Pip 2: "MAMMAL! MAMMAL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my ALPHA GAL!!!! IT's MAMMAL IN THE AIR!!!"

Anyhoo, how are y'all?
#JustAnotherQuietNightInTheCountry

-Intermission-

PART II 
I let a few minutes pass.
Pip 2 has run to my bedroom where mammal skunk atoms seem to have not hit and is gasping for non-contaminated air.
Carefully, I open the windows: a fresh breeze.
"Ok everyone! It's safe! You won't react now! Open the windows!"

I sit back down and press "play" on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It's the one where Titus is dreaming about Dionne Warwick. In the black night, I hear a "...thump. Thump... thump thump th..."

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. PIP 1 GET OVER HERE NOW!" and out we go with the dogs to the coop, a gun, a machete, a flashlight... that dies. I turn on the flashlight app on the phone.

We liiiiiiift the coop roof... and there is A LONGER, ANGRIER SNAKE who is almost done strangling Momma 2. Her beak is open, her eyes glazed, Pip 1 swoops down and UNWRAPS the snake from her neck.

I yell to Pip 2, "GET MY CAR KEYS!" and off we go. Pip 1 is sitting in the back of the car trunk wrestling with this long-ass snake. I'm careening down the road. "MOM!" "WHAT?" "STOP THE CAR." "WHAT?!?" "STOP THE CAR IT'S... AAAAAAAAA..." So I stop the car. Pip 1 is now wrestling with the snake on the asphalt trying to get a better grip. Lo and behold we are in front of The W's porch and they are enjoying the quiet of a beautiful country evening.
They take in the sight of Pip 1 wrassling with a huge thrashing snake on the pavement.
They tip their glasses, "Evening..."
"Evening..." we pause, and politely nod back.

Pip 1 now has a firm grasp on the battered, hissing reptile, hops back in to the open car trunk, snake writhing, and off to the cow pasture we go for Snake 2 to rejoin its mate.

And thus, another quiet evening in the country ended.


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